Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's a Wild World

"Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl"

-Cat Stevens, "Wild World"

As I was tearing through my desk this morning, frantically looking for my keys...and my watch... and my headphones (so sometimes I'm not quite so organized), I knocked over a towering stack of CDs. The stack of CDs has been sitting on my desk untouched since 2007 or so. No lie. Each and every time I rearranged, I had carefully transported the hoard of case-less scracthed and dusty CDs. With and iPod and an iPhone, I never really felt the need to spend hours sorting through them.

And this morning as they pinged around on the bare tile, I ignored my initial (read: lazy messy bum) thought to push them under my desk with a few swipes of the feet and deal with them later. Instead, I scooped up the stray CDs and threw them in my work tote, figuring I could attempt to spice up my work playlist.

Once in the car, I dug my hand deep into the tote and wound up with the "How to Deal" soundtrack. I thought once (okay, twice.) about throwing it back in and looking for a CD where I could actually remember the track listing. But once again, I ignored that and ....


a totally adorable version of a mommy and her bebe dancing to Wild World.

I bought the soundtrack the summer before I went to college. I was heading out on RV road trip with a friend and her parents. I had just had my first kiss days before with a boy who would ignore my calls and inevitably dump me the week I returned. And I spent the trip blasting track 4, Liz Phair's "Why Can't I?," on my discman. Yeah, I said discman.

And this morning as that track started up, I laughed aloud. It felt good to remember those days - good to remember the melodramatic mouthing the words in sync with Liz as I wondered how she could read the very words of my soul.

As track 4 segued into track 5, my trip down memory lane took a sudden turn. It was Beth Orton's version of the Cat Steven's classic, Wild World.

The first time I heard it, I was 17 - fresh out of high school and desperately afraid of what was to come - the change that was right around the corner. I remember being perched on the RV couch, meditating on the lyrics and nauseatingly following the yellow stripe on the asphalt as we drove home.

Today, I am 25. And if we're being honest, I'm a little bit scared of the changes that are in store for me this coming year. There are moments when I feel like I'm not strong enough or brave enough to handle the adult world. It's a subtle fear in the back of my mind that makes me wish I could see how everything works out. I effortlessly made it through the changes of college and beyond, but now I wonder how will I fare through year 25?

But maybe these feelings are a good thing.
Maybe fear keeps us on our toes?
Maybe it forces us to deal?

so tell me.
What's one CD/Song/Artist/Band that instantly brings you back? One that gets you thinking about whats to come?


Brooke Ann Dove said...

Ben Folds Five "Smoke"
It takes me back to high school, cruising in the car in the cool night air.

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

lots of music. it's hard to pick one. smashing pumpkins' "today", if i had to pick one off the top of my head.

i believe in you, meesh.
fear is a natural thing but never let it hold you back. love is letting go of fear.


Belen said...

first, wow, i love this post. and i love the cat steven's quote. discovering forgotten CDs has happened to me a few times too many. i think listening to Jason Mraz's first album, or Tristan Prettyman's twenty-three is what brings back memories, as well as makes me think about what's to come.

Janet Dillon Robinson said...

Oh wow, I'm totally with Summer on "Today" by the Smashing Pumpkins. This song is happy, sad, exciting, inspiring, nostalgic.. everything!

I have a stack of CDs as well.. I should do something about them!!! Thanks for the inspiration!

Janet Dillon Robinson said...

Oh oh oh! I also gave you a "One Lovely Blog" award:

Katy Mary said...

OMG I have so many songs that bring me back. Ben Folds Five - Brick, so many songs from my tortured teenage years haha. No one really knows what life holds for them but I say jump in head first girl!

~KS said...

I love Beth Orton...
I have so many songs that take me back. "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling," reminds me of high school. My friends and I were in my dad's JEEP on the way to a haunted house, and I had two guys in the "trunk" area... they started singing this. Love that memory.
Music is so powerful...

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I was just thinking about all the songs and bands that make me think of Autumns in my past. It's amazing how so many songs can bring you right back to a certain moment.